You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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