I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
