her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
