these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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