having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
