Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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