Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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