I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
