garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I showed him my bush... on skype.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
