I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
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