he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
