I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
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