Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
