i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
