Bisexual people are plain selfish.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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