tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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