too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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