Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
