Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(850): View more from Florida

I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."

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(616): View more from Michigan

Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.

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(805): View more from California

My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes

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(802): View more from Vermont

just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!

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(614): View more from Ohio

you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!

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(+31): View more from The Netherlands

Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.

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(205): View more from Alabama

all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"

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