this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
