Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
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