I am spending my child support on dildos
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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