whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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