Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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