Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
