felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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