I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
