i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
