I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
