On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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