Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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