i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
