i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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