i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
