If that was your dad, he is hot
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
