I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
