She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
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