I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
