Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
