How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize