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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
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