You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
