Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
