I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
