her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
