Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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