i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Sober January is a disaster.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
