Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize