i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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