here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
don't judge my taste in strippers
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
