he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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