There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
