I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
