He asked to "fluff my boner.."
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize