I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
