Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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