i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
