I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
