im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
