Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
