Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
