Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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