So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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