Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
