I'm going to jail i love you
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
