Capitaan dildo arrescate!
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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