You just made me feel so damn special
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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